Cant remember its been a while and i am a little drunk lol!

Friday 28th October 

Ok I admit its never a good time to update when you have had a few beers, but what the hell, as Micky boy would say I'm intrepid and fearless (its a bower thing!).  

FIRSTLY joyeux anniversaire!! Mr Bernard, Secondly I am so impressed that I was worst for wear last night and remembered that I promised to say happy birthday!

Mr Bernard hope you had a good night!!!!!!!!!

There is also a special young man that I want to say belated "Joyeux anniversaire" to, Kyle I am so sorry that I am slack and didn't get you a card, yes I am rubbish but you know that I am thinking of you and I hope you enjoyed your trip to the US for your birthday!  There will be a belated birthday box when I get home!

So I have to share with you the bizzare thing that is our local, the bizzare thing being you have to fight to pay your bill!!! It great, firstly they forget to give you the bill for the round, so you end up feeling bad and pointing out you haven't been charged for your round, but the greatest thing is once you have racked up a few rounds they give you one on the house for "the road" its amazing, I highly recommend it to the Park, they would get loads more custom!

So another day, another apartment viewing, we have been saved from being homeless but the hunt for the elusive "two bedroomed" des res is still on!

We have furniture........we have the bond.....we have the power, but not quite the REGIE (equivalent of the letting agent in the UK but with far more power) has "the power!" 

We have now seen over 20 apartments, as have in-between 70 to 100 other couple on each viewing....I shit you not!   They queue down stairwells, in the lifts and everything, its a whole new brave world my friends of group viewing, where NOBODY understands English!!

As you can imagine I am a) more that stressed and b) pissed off that nobody speaks english, hell didn't we have an empire at one point lol!

Me and Mr H bid you farwell at this as we are making the most of having the apartment to ourselves, this evening *wink wink*, as of tomorrow we have a guest via work, for a couple of weeks!

Lots of drunken love, hugs and maybe kisses Ms G & Mr H xxxx

Week Four (it feels like a lifetime!)

Wednesday 26th October

Today was the day that Grumpus had her first major meltdown.....of decent proportion anyway.

Cabin fever has set in, not of the apartment, not of living 24/7 with Mr. H but being in a city where nothing seems to make sense.   40% of the city's occupant's are ex pats, but yet nobody I have met other than Mike (from the bar) seems to speak English!!!   How is that possible? I thought English was the universal language of Finance and we live in one of THE biggest cities finance wise, go figure!

Then we have the rental system, I can't begin to explain how stressed I am about the fact that come the 13th November, Mr H and I will be homeless!   Not only will we be homeless but we will have a boat load of frigging furniture and no place to go!

Regies (as the letting agents are called) are as fecking helpful as the clap!   Not interested in anything you have to say should you not speak French, advertise properties that seemingly are filled in minutes and generally are just twats.

STRESSED doesn't begin to cover it, there were wobbles at work, but the full blown meltdown erupted once we got home!

Mr. H as usual dealt with it in a calm and reassuring manner (only once I started crying) I should farm him out to war torn countries, so he could go and solve all their problems too!

The UN have nothing on him and luckily, hugs were given, tears were dried and laughter resumed....for the time being!

Although even this problem is one H man can't fix, if a regie doesn't take pity on us soon, we will be camping out in the office boardroom, I'm not joking, nobody could afford the bloody hotel prices round here!

So that was the meltdown day, that and I now realise that I have left my i phone at bloody work, so now starting to feel like I have lost a body part, all in all my friends, A VERY DARK DAY!

The silver lining in the shittiestdaysofar.com was we have had a beaut curry, rice that was blinding if I do say so myself (I cooked it!) and something described as a rosti, it was rosti as in potato but you cooked it almost like a fat pancake, in a frying pan with a lid on top, whatever it is it did the trick :)

So I'll leave you on that note, and hope for my sanity and H's that tomorrow will be a better day :)

Grumpus and Hx 

End of Week Three

Sunday 23rd October 2011

Again apologises for the sporadic posts, but in-between apartment viewing, working and eating there doesn't seem to be many hours left in a day!

I wont bore you with most of the apartments seen this week, apart from the one of the ones on Friday, boy this one was special!   The actual apartment was fine, kitchen was basically a box but other than that, the space it's self was spot on.

The special part of this apartment was the night-life surrounding it, now I class myself as a reasonably broad minded individual, live and let live and all that but living next door to one of the most graphic sex shop widow displays I have EVER seen is even too much for me.   If that wasn't bad enough, there was more........the prostitute loitering in the doorway of the apartment really gave the game away as to where we were!

Now I am sure your all wondering how we came across this gem of a des-res! 

Well Mr. H found it in the "classified" section of an expat website......he seriously must think I was born yesterday, although in his defence he did actually look as horrified as I did at the scene surrounding the apartment, at least in Amsterdam the Red Light district has pretty buildings and decent looking women, this was just nasty!

Mr. H was actually quite offended that it was allowed to be called the Red Light district it clearly wasn't up to the high standards he had become used to in Dam!

Just as a side note, how do ppl live in Studio apartments, seriously, ONE room my friends to live, sleep and eat.....the only other room is the loo!!!   How bad is that, you need to go and have a moment and the place is that small, you both have to hum.....?

Seriously I love Mr H dearly but I really do not want to live somewhere where I can here him carrying out his ablutions, its bad enough that I have to witness him sticking his head under the covers of a morning, to see how good his fart smelt, anything more could be a deal breaker on the relationships stakes.

When I signed up for this amazing trip sharing ONE room 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week was DEFINITELY not on the cards, but for some reason the Swiss think this is a perfectly respectable way to live!!!

So its back to the drawing board, another viewing lined up Monday......I just can't wait!   It really is exciting to see what hole we're contemplating living in next, kind of a lucky dip of small hovels available for renting!   

I miss my home, my garden, my cat and all I ask is that for the best part of £1400 pm is a little bit of space, a separate bedroom, living room and kitchen is NOT a lot to ask for in life me thinks!

So after the appalling evening of apartment hunting we decided to call for a nightcap, a "celebration" of getting through the viewings without throwing ourselves under a bus/tram/train/bike/motorbike - whatever would have been closest, or Grumpus being kidnapped by a Swiss pimp.

Paradiso (the bar downstairs - after three weeks we finally have learnt it's name) had Karaoke on and Dahlia the owner set about me with gusto to ask (replace ask with press-gang!) me to sing.

Now I have been known to belt out a few tunes on Lips, when very very drunk and in the privacy of my own home, only around people I know well (i.e. can bribe should they start taking pictures or videos) but singing in a packed bar in front of a load of strangers that don't even speak English is not my idea of a good time....or so I though!

Mr. H did NOTHING to stop the press-ganging so my name was down on the list before I knew what was happening, he found this extremely amusing.

What did we learn that evening????? I do a blinding Tina rendition, which everyone seemed to enjoy - well they clapped so I take it they enjoyed it, I don't do a blinding Cher.......it was bad, very bad and I do a decent R Kelly Duet with the owners brother, who clearly thinks he is the next Robbie Williams!

Mr. H decided to call it a night, did Grumpus?  Oh no, she carried on for another hour and a half, belting them out with varying degrees of success, at one point I believe they had to wrestle the microphone off me to let someone else have a turn!

So you can guess how this evening ended, Grumpus woke up the next morning DYING, after hitting 30, my body now just seems to be outraged that I dare even attempt to drink as much as I used to and does everything in its power to  dissuade me from trying again......somebody aught to tell my body I am not good at doing as I am told lol!

Mr. H did his good deed for the day yesterday whilst I was "tired and emotional" and set off for the adventure that has become the weekly shop.

He has asked me to summarise his trip as follows (this is because he cant be arsed to type himself!)

20 minute walk to the shopping centre, carrying an extremely feminine purple shopping trolley, that her indoors has actually f**king named!

Arrive at supermarket, to find it full of what appeared to be a day trip from the local old peoples home, this included "Doris".   Now Doris as nice as she was, took it upon herself to make my shopping trip as difficult as possible.   Doris decided to stalk me all round the supermarket and appeared to want everything that I wanted, but rather that do her own thing in a civilised manner, this crazy old b**ch thought it was ok, to walk down the isles backwards!!!!   Seriously......giving old people shopping trolleys is debatable to start with, but when they insist on driving them backward, I say enough!   Someone needs to lay down some ground rules!!!!

So I find myself in a foreign supermarket not understanding any of the labels, when it suddenly dawns on me, I am doing the good thing, offering to do the shopping whilst her indoors, lies dying in bed, not "tired and emotional" just PLAIN hungover!   Maybe this will earn me some brownie points for "later".   But wait hang on, I know we need bleach and washing up liquid, but what the f**k else do I buy to feed us?????

So I begin to walk round and realise that I really fancy some cheese.   I decided that it would be quite funny to see how many food items I could buy that had cheese in them.   This turned out to be a rather fun game and easier than one might think!   I succeeded in getting:

Frozen mash with cheese

Croissant with cheese in them ( Grumpus was outraged!) 

Potato Croquettes with cheese in them 

Ravioli with cheese in it

Chicken Kiev with cheese in them

Potato Rossi with cheese in them

Ham & Cheese savoury strudel (Grumpus isn't sure that she wants to eat a SAVOURY strudel but needs must!)

Now I could go on here, but I am sure you get the jist, pretty much everything I bought to eat had cheese in it.   MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!

So now I find myself with a dilemma.......I have got the food, but the f**king purple shopping trolley now has no more room for beer and wine, what is a man to do????

So I have to walk the 20 minutes back unload all the shopping only to have to turn round and walk back to get my beer (Grumpus would like to interject at this point before you all start feeling sorry for Mr. H.... he does have a bloody bus pass he could have used rather than walking!!!!)

So that is EXACTLY what I did!

Grumpus is now patiently waiting for the barrage of comments from you all about how mean I am to Mr. H and how wonderful he is to me.......remember folks he loves it!!   He gets very confused when I try and be nice :0)

So that's all for now, although its quarter past twelve in the afternoon, I might grumble off for a kip because I can!

Love Grumpus & Mr. H xxx

Week Three

Wednesday 19th October

Jesus wept its Wednesday already, am beginning to feel a little like a hamster, all be it a Swiss Hamster maybe?   The days are just flying by!

Well the apartment on Monday was beautiful, I have tried to bribe, cajole, plead, even tried flirting in Frenglish to get the place, but so far no cigar, the deadline for applications is Friday, were waiting for paperwork and the suspense is bloody killing me.   Trying to be adult about it but if one more person tells Grumpus that "what will be will be" Grumpus WILL punch them!

In the meantime we need to continue looking and just cross our fingers.   Normally I laugh at the "power of pray" malarkey but serious peeps fingers, knickers, toes, etc. I expect you all back home to keep all of them crossed!

Putting some long hours in a work, so hence the rather sporadic updates at the moment, apologises but "you gotta do what you gotta do"

Mr. H feels like he is living with a OAP, one minute we are having a conversation, he leaves the room to get a beer, comes back and I am snoring! I actually fell asleep the other night WHILST he was talking to me!

Not really a lot else has happened, all I seem to be doing is working and sleeping, so same old shit different day.   

Been quite an emotional day, today.  A colleague, no scrap that... a friend who happens to work for the same company as me was in our office today, I was caught really off guard as to how upset I was when she left, it was a shame we were both so busy that we didn't get chance for a catch up, I had a tear or two in the lift back up after saying bye.

For the most part, the homesickness is bearable, we're here together, for a reason so it is easy to try and bury it and just get on with it, but when you see a friend, face to face or on Skype, that is when it really hits home.   Your hundreds of miles away from the people you love and care for and you start to falter in the belief that its the right thing to do.

I wonder if friendships can last over long distance, seriously who hasn't had a long distance love affair that you knew was doomed from the start??   I really really hope that all mine & Mr H's friendships can last where ever we are in the world, but the thought does tend to sneak up and bite you on the proverbial arse when you least expect it!

WOW bit deep there peeps but I did say it was a warts and all blog and hell it wouldn't be Grumpus's blog without a bit of moaning going on!

Starting to stress about my laptop, sent it back to Dell today (who I must point out are rather more helpful in Geneva, than they were back in the UK!), praying that they manage to restore it, but it isn't looking hopeful :(   Having said that if they get the bugger working again, I a) will not be as mardy and grumpy, b) will be able to get back to the addiction which is FB games & c) Mr. H will be a happy bunny as we will no longer have to work to a "rota" for his laptop.

If the truth be told I am rather gutted that I got the smaller Laptop and Mr H got the larger one, getting quite used to his huge.......screen!   Maybe I will insist that he has the smaller one, once fixed and I have this one instead!

Right think that's about all folks for tonight, off for, you guessed it, a cheeky glass of vino (cue the telling off from my mother again for turning into an alcoholic and blogging about it :0) )

Stay safe and don't do anything me and Mr. H wouldn't do!

Grumpus & Mr. H xxxx

End of Week Two

Firstly congratulations to our friends Rose and Coz, on the birth of their beautiful baby boy, Corey John.

I am gutted that I am not there for cuddles!!

Right now down to the updates, after getting done for no posts over the weekend, here they are as requested!

Saturday 15th October

Up bright and early, well bright and early for me on a weekend, 10am sharp, Mike & Cora were waiting outside for us, ready to give us the tour of "Manor" supermarket.

To be honest it was lovely but more Marks and Sparks than Asda smart price!

Stocked up on spices etc as we had promised to return the favour and cook for Mike and his gang and Mr. H had his heart set on making a curry from scratch.

Had a coffee after shopping, in Switzerland, there seems to be a lot of coffee drinking after doing things, so much so if your not careful, you would never get more than one or two things done in one day!  

A quick nosey round the electronics department and then home james.

The afternoon was spent chopping and cooking with the end result being a beautiful curry.

The evening went to plan, everyone seemed to enjoy their food, the guests brought some cracking wine and a decent night was had by all!

Sunday 16th October

Grumpus for the first time in a very long time was up reasonably early for a Sunday, 9am bright eyed and bushy tailed, same I can't say the say for Mr. H, for the first time in a long time, Mr. H had a visit from his long lost friend "The Hangover", the last time Mr. Hangover visited was Prague Nov 10!

I thought I would do my good deed for the day and hopped off to "PAM" to get Croissants for Mr. H & I.   Off I tootled, sustenance bought and back in one piece after wrestling with the shrapnel which is Swiss currency, feeling quite pleased with myself.   Kettle on, coffee made, Croissant and Coffee brought to Mr. H's bedside.

There was a growl, which I translated to be, he didn't like Croissant.......   Now this disturbs me on many many levels, after being with Mr. H nearly 7 years, how has this major issue past me by I ask myself.   He is trying to convince me that I knew of this before, but no, no my friends, this is MAJOR I would have remembered this discussion.  How can someone NOT like the noble Croissant?, this was the holy grail of my holiday as a child, Dad legging it to the bakery and bring them back still warm, a reminder of being abroad and I am led to believe the staple breakfast diet in quite a few European countries (they also put cheese in them and have them for lunch, but the less we talk about that, the better....its well plain bloody WRONG!).   The Croissant was France's answer to American style fast food, you wouldn't get a Maccy D breakfast looking this elegant!

So, I am horrified that Mr. H isn't participating with the Croissant munching and a little miffed that I didn't get a medal as big as a dustbin lid, for being so thoughtful, but then, the realisation hits me.   More for me, yum!

So Mr. H finally drags himself out of bed whilst I Skype Ma & Pa, their dog is crazy I actually felt like I was starting to have a conversation with her and could pretty much understand the jist of the barks etc......I know I definitely need help!

Mr. H had offered his services to assist Mike with his computer, so off we trekked the five minute walk, to what would be the best Sunday Dinner either of us have had in a while!

I did bugger all apart from watch UK telly whilst Matt sorted the computer and laptop out.

We were rewarded with THE biggest pork joint I have ever seen!   Crackling was top notch, this man knew how to pull together a Sunday roast, veg still with a bit of bite, decent roasties and blinding gravy :)

Obviously not as good as either Mum's but hell he nearly there!

So as it is Monday when I am writing this I will not be able to update till tomorrow now as off to see another "Apartment"

Keep trekking my friends, if you cant be good be careful!!

Love Grumpus & Mr. H 

Yup you've guessed it more Week Two

Howdy folks!

Right fully recovered from last nights shananagins and raring to go!

So what to tell you about first, Mr. H's blond-ism? The Apartment hunting (I constantly refer to it as Flat Hunting and constantly get corrected by Mr H....they should be referred to as Rabbit hutches, in fact the hutches my Granddad used to keep Rabbits in were bigger, but I digress)!

Just a side note, I am seriously worried at how dumb am I, I never realised Granddad had two d's!!!!

Back to the story, we bounced off the bus at the usual stop and raced to the local to meet Mike, who kindly offered to come to the viewing with us, jolly decent of him as:

a) We don't speak any of the languages 99% of the population speak!

b) We didnt know what the hell we were doing or what was expected of us!

Unfortunately Mike wasn't too well so off we trotted to see what we were convinced would be the apartment of our dreams!

I have to say the Swiss need taking to one side and explained to what the concept of a bedroom is..i.e. actually being able to fit a bed and a wardrobe into the room, rather than just crowbarring the mattress into the room and then just throwing yourself on it!

Needless to say, the apartment of our dreams, soon became our reality.   The apartments everywhere in Geneva, are small, the same thing happened today, had a viewing, lovely part of town, was fully furnished, but had a curtain for a door, I guess this is what it is like when you find Uni digs, although at Uni, your 18, not 31 and have a few less expectations in life!   Especially for CHF2000 per month.   I guess we should be lucky that includes the Utilities!

Anyway the scariest thing is we are seriously giving this place some consideration, after all we have to be out of the apartment we are in now by the end of the month, scary stuff!

So that is the joy that is finding a new home, I knew it would be hard but seriously????

Now I hope you can understand the need for the early bar to drown our sorrows :0)

Really cant think of anything else witty and/or amusing to say at the moment guys and gals so me and Mr. H bid you goodnight xx

Even more week two

Thursday 13th October


Hi guys, tonight has been eventful, but as we went early bar, i don't think it is wise to post, ok I meant I cant focus on the computer screen!!!!   We went to "celebrate" our first viewing, which to be honest is another story so I will post all tomorrow 


Be good and be safe love Grumpus & Mr H *Hick*

Week Two

Wednesday 12th October 

Bonjour mon lovelies, vu comme tu Mme D pensait qu'elle allait me surpasser avec son vocabulairefrançais, j'ai sauté sur le train en marche de traduire Google! Kinda funk je pensais, je pourrais m'habituer à écrire en français il vous garde tous sur vos orteils!

Well now we have that out of the way back down to business, much less stressful day today, sorted out a viewing for an apartment tomorrow night, its tiny but hell you can't be picky in this city and we have decided if the budget allows we want to stay in Geneva if at all possible.

Below are the finds of the day, to go along with tea.   I cooked superb Burritos this evening if I do say so myself, first attempt at cooking since we arrived and with an electric hob as well!

The first picture is a can of lager for the equivalent of 30p......yes I did say 30p and I am not ashamed to say it isn't the worst beer I have ever had, next one is the bottle of wine for £3 and the third is a new one even for me Red Wine in a carton.....its like the beginning of a Peter Kay joke isn't it, but again its drinkable so were happy as pigs in shit!

Did I also mention I am giddy that I have figured out how to justify my blog, small steps people, small steps!

Well I am home alone again but this time it is my choice I have sent Mr H off to the pub with his copy of the Financial Times.....I shit you not, not ZOO or what ever the latest mag is with breasts strategically placed on the front of it but the Financial Times.  I sometimes wonder if he was hijacked on the way to Amsterdam and a replacement was sent back to me instead, you know like they whisked him off to be a secret agent and created a clone to send back to me.....first the cleaning obsession, which I can just about cope with, because lets face it my home is always tidy when he's around, I can't frigging find anything but I guess that's not the point.   But anyway at what point did any of you think I would mention Mr. H and the Financial Times in the same sentence?????

Anyway back to my point after going to bed around 10 hoping for an early night, but still being wide awake at half one this morning thanks to the near enough constant snoring and grinding of teeth, my patience was wearing thin by 8pm, so he was packed off downstairs to drink with Mike......leaving me in piece to be mardy and fall out with myself!

So peeps off to polish of the wine and try and fall asleep before him indoors comes home, in the hope of getting a decent nights sleep :)

Wet willies and kisses

Grumpus

More Week Two!

Tuesday 11th October


Howdy folks, due to popular demand I will be discussing Bertha and her "problems" in more detail tonight, ok technically only one person asked, but hell that is enough for me!


Seriously though loving this blogging, it's literally ALL ABOUT ME!!! Well me and Mr H, but generally all about me, as an only child I'm in clover :)


So Bertha, you will all be pleased to know, is back on the road, well not literally "on the road" or else she would have been squished by now, but you get what I mean.   Mr. H took her back to her first home and quietly asked so as not to hurt her feelings if we could swap her for another, "NON" was the reply, like they were afraid they would hurt her feelings?!   So Mr. H tried another tack and asked in his amazing French vocab if the chap he was speaking to spoke English, again "NON" was the reply.    Slightly bemused as to where to take the conversation Mr. H thought fuck it (sorry mum & mum 2) and launching into speaking English.   "Can you exchange this, it broke on the way home from buying it?"  "Have you got your receipt mate" the French dude replied.


So my friends the first lesson of that day was, don't try and fit in with your surroundings and speak the lingo as they really aren't interested!


Anyhooo, the end result was Bertha wasn't "swapped" for a new baby, but fixed and returned home triumphant, I am sure she smirked at me as Mr. H wheeled her in!


So back on to today, after the excitement of the past days, not much has occurred other than Mr. H pointedly asking me not to go in to some of the downloaded files on his computer *wink, wink*, to be honest after his lonely time in Dam, the mind boggles so I think it's best not to!


Said I wouldn't talk about work and I wont BUT needless to say after today, I have spent the best part of the last two hours chewing Mr. H's ears off, slurping red wine and smoking ( really sorry mum & mum 2).   


I feel better not sure about the wreck that was Mr. H, think he is beginning to regret returning from Dam, the Skype conversations were so much easier for him to handle.   You gotta hand it to the guy he puts up with some shit!


Mr. H has his first success, work wise, so yup, (dont really need to tell you, do I?) we called for wine on the way home to "celebrate"....before you all think our status in life has changed due to the amount of money spent on wine etc, its the equivalent of £2.00!


Actually thinking maybe I need to change the name of the blog from Grumpus Guide to Switzerland, to the Alcoholics Guide to Switzerland.... all comments welcome, well actually they're not but Mr. H said, I should say it!


So now sat working my way towards being puddled, eating the WORST take on twiglets ever (and lets face it who thought you could get worse) "sticks-Sales" in French in case you give a shit, as I can not be arsed to cook and looking forward to making Mr. H watch what he will class as "utter shite" because I can!!!


Au revoir my devoted lovelies, hugs and kisses 


Grumpus & Mr. H

Week Two!

Monday 10th October


Well for a kick off I cant believe that none of you are "following" the blog how frigging rude!   Not that I actually even understand what "following" is but that is not the point!


Home alone tonight Mr. H has to work late, christ we move to a different country and he still works late, some things just never change!


So here I am laid out on possibly the most comfortablesofaintheworld.com listening to the ipod and updating my blog.   Feeling rather chilled out if I am honest, a bit of moi time!


Trying to resist the urge to get back into the Facebook games, my laptop has broke so sharing Mr. H's and funnily enough he doesn't like me hijacking it for the whole evening, rather selfish of him I thought but you all know he gets his own way.


So still in smug mood and rightly so I think, unsupervised I have managed to get the bus near work (OK so Mr. H walked me to the bus stop but that isn't the point), got off at the right stop, managed to go and visit "PAM" for wine and called in at the local.......you guessed it to celebrate getting home safe and sound!


JOB WELL DONE me thinks, anyhow toodle pip for now and start "following"...seriously how bad is that, begging for blog followers, can I stoop any lower lol!

The First Week..

Saturday 1st October

Well we are finally up and running with the internet, so this may possibly be the longest post in history, where to start, what to tell you all about first?

Normal service was resumed at the Airport, i.e. Matt had to have a few beers, business or pleasure this has now become a tradition for him and he sees no reason to change it now! 

I thought it would be rude to leaving him drinking on his own so joined in the tradition also.

Flight over was fairly straight forward, although Matt tried to convince me that the four Stella he ordered on the plane was to help him deal with the small child sat behind us.......as you can imagine I was not convinced as it was asleep!

So we landed at Geneva Airport, very clean, very organised and before we knew where we were, we had jumped into a taxi with only a text message to confirm the apartment address, on the start of our adventure!

It was not the cheapest ten minute journey I have ever had and can't quite believe that it is acceptable for a taxi driver to charge you extra for luggage, but he seemed helpful enough, admitting immediately that he couldn't speak English but trying to throw in a few directions to places he thought we would want to go to, i.e. the lake, the supermarket etc.

So bags dumped (local already eyeballed when we stepped out of the taxi) we decided to reward ourselves for getting to the apartment in one piece, with our luggage intact, with a beer....clearly you are all seeing a re-occurring pattern here already, where ever we are in the world, we will always find a bar!

So local next door turns out to be a Portuguese bar, decent owner, friendly patrons, one of which is English, thank god!!  Wine lovely, but a little shocked to fine they drink their red chilled?   Turned out to be a lot cheaper than we expected, so all in all a decent result.

Decided as it is Saturday night, in memory of "takeout night" at J & P's we would have a Kebab to keep the ritual going, so off we go in search of the Geneva equivalent to BK & B or Burger Jim's!   Literally 5 mins down the road we hit the jackpot, 10 minutes of arm waving, pointing at menu's and bob's your uncle, we were the owners of two very fine looking Kebabs.

A few more drinks were had at the new local, obviously you have to make an effort to get to know your neighbours, with it being right next door to the apartment it would be rude not to!

So around half one our time we stagger back to our gaff, fed & watered and to be honest feeling quite smug with ourselves, at how well everything has gone so far.

Maybe half one in the morning isn't the greatest time in the world to start moving furniture, Mr H wasn't best impressed but obviously I got my way and chests of draws were moved, bedside tables re-arranged and once I was happy we hopped into a surprising comfortable bed, for some shut eye.

Sunday 2nd October

Sunday morning came and went......!  We had every intention of getting up early shopping, cleaning the apartment etc, but to be honest, couldn't be arsed to get out of bed!   Finally dragged ourselves out of bed, Matt sulking as he had been denied (with me pointing out that it wasn't like we were on bloody holiday!) and off for a wander we went.

Trotted down to the lake, yes you heard I WALKED all the way downtown to the lake, admittedly it isn't that far, but in 3" heels it bloody felt like it!

Mr. H was practically sprinting, whilst I hobbled along, v. proud of myself though, didn't moan once, I pray to god I lose weight then at least the blisters will have been worth it

The water jet strategically placed behind our heads is called the Jet d'Eau and is one of the most famous landmarks in Geneva, the lake is beautiful and we patted ourselves on the back and a job well done at finding our way there.

We decided to have a nosy down some of the side streets and this seemed to be a typical street scene!

In just under half an hour we saw the two Ferrari's above and a Rolls Royce Phantom convertible.  It was just unbelievable one minute there is a tramp and his dog walking towards you the next minute you see three cars, each of which would possibly buy our house twice over!

So we saw the lake, drooled over the cars and Mr H pressed his nose up against a lot of Jewelers windows, sighing aplenty.  After the disappointment of knowing the new watch was a long way off we decided to walk back to our gaff, obviously stopping along the way for a pint, thinking we could pick up a little shopping on the way, no problem we think, international city, massive ex- pat community so obviously shit is going to be open on a Sunday right?WRONG!   It became glaringly obvious as we walked back to the apartment that not a single supermarket or shop for that matter was open!!!

Both Mr. H & I are starting to get a tad nervous by this point, not so much about the food aspect but what the hell will we do for beer?  The jovial manner and smugness we have be projecting since we arrived, disappears in a instant and we come back down to earth with a bump.   It becomes alarmingly clear we are in a foreign country and have no idea what the hell we are doing!

All I can say is thank god for PAM, PAM is the equivalent of the corner shop  back home, open it seems when nobody else will, cares that you don't have beer at 5pm on a Sunday and welcomes you with open arms when the other shops just don't give a shit!

Clearly they thought that we were two crazy foreigners as we packed our beer and minimum food into the wheelie suitcase, that I decided would be a genius idea to use to carry the shopping!   Seriously you don't understand how much you take a car for granted until you try and do some food shopping and it dawns on you that you have to carry the bleeding lot back with you!!

So crisis averted, food and beverages bought, smugness back in place!

Monday 3rd October

Up bright and early didn't have to get to the office till half 9 so no stress, well ok I was stressed as clearly that is what I do best but Mr H took everything in his stride, thank god I am here with him, I would never have been able to do this on my own!

Bus stop a stones throw from apartment so that was sorted, after lots of staring and scratching of heads at the ticket machine we managed to work out   which ticket we needed and we were off!

I am sure that you will have all thought, Grumpus on a bus, that is unheard of, this is true, I can count on one hand the amount of times I have used public transport since being at school, but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised, the buses here are always bang on time and seem to be very clean and tidy, the Swiss way I am reliably informed.

Just a note to say that the purpose of the blog is really so you guys back home can laugh at, or with us at the scraps we get into, cry with us over missing home, so not really going to talk about work if I can help it.

Tuesday 4th October

Right so work over and done with, figured out that the supermarket is open till 7, so jumped off the bus and steeled ourselves to attack the supermarket.   At this point I would like to point out, nobody speaks English, nothing is written in English to describe what your buying and guess what, the instructions aren't in English either!

Shopping trolley full and again it dawns on us we have to carry all of this home, Grumpus has noticed by this point lots of people with granny like trolleys to carry their wares home, so we would like to introduce you to an addition to our family, affectionately named Bertha.

As you can see Bertha is a very fetching shade of Purple, the fact that she promptly broke down as soon as we got home is another story, but she came in handy carrying the beer, wine and frozen chips home, welcome Bertha!

Wednesday 5th October

Tonight we went on the hunt for an ATM, spent a good hour wandering the streets, to be honest I have never been so pleased to see an ATM in my life.     Although we had said that we wouldn't be "popping" into the local until Saturday again we felt we needed a reward so off we trotted. Our new English friend Mike was in the bar so what was only going to be one drink, turned into a few!

Thursday 6th October

As supplies of alcohol were rapidly decreasing, off to PAM's we went in search of some red wine, criteria being under £4.00 and drinkable!   Mr H was on a mission, he found a bottle for the equivalent of £2.00, slightly dubious at this point as it wasn't even a screw top, but a top like you get on a bottle of beer, but hell we thought, go for it what is the worse that can happen.   Fairly drinkable but Mr H awoke the next morning feeling a tad rough, so it can't have been that good, in the 6 years we have been together I can count on one hand the times he has had a hangover.

I sensibly stuck to larger, see below, maybe this is the equivalent of health warning???

Friday 7th October

All ticking over nicely, settling in at work, decided that as it was Friday we would treat ourselves to a spot of lunch.   Down the road from the Airport (where the office is) there is a Co-op, but it's not called Co-op here but coop, like a hen coop?!   So off we trot, they have a restaurant there so we tried to look at a menu but to be honest we were screwed, everything was either written in French, Italian or German, oh yer peeps not one language to frigging learn but the possibility of three!

Found our way to the grill, two steak fillets, chips and two sides from the salad bar, CHF 21, not great but we wanted something warm and needs must.   So we go through the old Parlez-vous anglais malarkey, "No" is the steadfast reply that we always get, so on we forge again hand gestures etc, to be honest I think they do understand you but they just like to be awkward!   To be fair why the hell not back in the UK we expect people to speak our language so I don't blame them, but it's not that helpful when you have no frigging idea how to communicate with anyone!

So we pick up our food, I already have food envy as Mr H's steak and "gravy" looks beaut, I had tried to be healthy and...."have a salad" with mine, but his looked mint the gravy had mushrooms and bacon, the job lot in it.   So we're tucking in, and I point out that I think it tastes a little like liver, still nice but I am not convinced its steak, Mr H's knife and fork clattered to the table, he goes a tad green and announces that he doesn't like liver!   So poor Mr H ended up with gravy and chips for dinner, just a mental note for future reference Steak de foie de boeuf, is NOT a steak but beef liver!

Got home and decided to celebrate making it through the week, as you may have guessed there has been lots of "celebrating" this week.

Got to the local and our new friend Mike was there, the only English guy we have met so far apart from colleagues, had a few beers, got chatting about his computer and Matt offered to have a gander, Mike suggested making a night of it, hell we were game, decent food, beer and good company, it kinda made up for missing you guys back home. 

Saturday 8th October

Had lots to do, attempted to get up early again, but that didn't really pan out for me that well, Mr H was up and about taking Bertha to be fixed, I was still in my pit by the time he got back!

We were on a mission in the afternoon, to buy a BUS PASS! For the equivalent of half my monthly petrol bill back in the UK, we both got a monthly pass, to use as often as we like, anywhere in Geneva.   Mr H looked fab on his pic, young, sexy, me I look like a bag lady but hell, when do I ever get a decent picture of me????

So armed with our new shiny bus passes and feeling very proud we toddle off back uptown to go to the haberdashery, can't believe I forgot the sewing kit and in three days, four buttons have come off the mac.

Needle and thread check, bus passes check, productive day had and a decent meal to look forward to that evening.

Got lost trying to find Mike's apartment, which was lovely, I was very jealous!   Food was FANTASTIC, company brilliant and four bottles of very decent wine drank, none of the cheap shit that night.

All in all had a brilliant night, but really reminded us of everyone we miss back home :( Mike said it's the only thing he still struggles with 10+ years on, but we made what will hopefully be some brilliant new friends and Mr H even offered to return the favor this coming Saturday.

Sunday 9th October

WOW so here we are, told you it would be the longest single post ever!  At the time of writing it is 3pm Swiss time, so 2pm your time, I am still in the pj's and having a bit of a moment, just thinking how much we miss all you guys, the children and Leo.   Can't believe we have made it through a entire week, with no sobbing (ok, hardly any sobbing!) and no major disasters.

We love you all and can't wait to see you at Christmas.....counting the weeks.

All our love, hugs and kisses

Grumpus and Mr H x